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Friday, March 18th, 2011
10:18 am - Testing Macjournal
Just testing a new kind of blogging software. Nothing to see here...

current mood: thoughtful
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
4:32 pm - Hello again.
Hello, friends. And the rest of you, too. It's been a while.

Based on a few events of the past few weeks, with a few different parts of the universe ranging from the Art of Manliness blog (often ridiculous, occasionally useful, always entertaining) to the indomitable and vivacious Sarah Sloane telling me I should go back to journaling, I'm back.

It's kind of scary, actually. I quit, quite simply, because living transparently had gotten destructive in my life, with drama coming out of the remarks on the journal, friendships ended over misinterpreted comments, and worst of all, remarks in my journal being used against me in discussions by people who meant well but cut me to the quick.

Kind of don't want to repeat that. And it's difficult to just be as open as I used to be, friends filter or none. So if I seem a little distant or stand-offish, that may be because I'm dipping my toes in a bit at a time. I'm going to probably use a lot of the "just me" filter, but I also want to have an outlet besides sex blogs and biz blogs and twitter to talk about things.

I will talk about this: I finished a 22-year long project recently, as my twin daughters graduated high school. No, they weren't 22, but 22 years ago was when I started parenting and set the goal of seeing my children off in their own lives, with a place to live, a basic education, and preferably no unplanned children before they graduated.

Guess what? SUCCESS!! Of course, my oldest daughter, at the venerable age of 21, is going to have a November. And while it is not planned, it is also not unwelcome, and having met her boyfriend, I have to say that she seems happy. And what more can a Grandpa-to-be want for his daughter?

(Yes, you can, in fact, call me GILF).

So now what? Damned if I know. I have a roommate now, my friend Miss Lily (who probably has an LJ that I don't know about). I'm still doing the Ropecast, I'm still teaching at kink events (though I'm cutting down on that). I'm still very much involved with both raging_journey  and savage13lossom  , with all the joys and challenges that polyamory entails, including all three of us dating others in various forms.

I'm also happily involved with writing, having completed my third novel recently and selling several stories to some anthologies in erotica.

All in all, it's a life, and it's about to change again - but I'm not sure how yet, or what will happen. So that's why I'm here: to document and work out what might happen next.

current mood: calm
Monday, August 18th, 2008
11:22 pm - Closing Up Shop
Ladies and Gentlemen, and you, too, sfeley, it has been quite an interesting journey here on LJ.

I need to focus more on some of the other things that have been neglected in my life.

Finding that one of my #1 distractions on the computer is checking my friends page, incessantly, and also finding that often my focus is distracted from events as they are occurring by composing LJ entries in my head...I'm bidding this venue adieu. I'll leave it up here, as some people seem to find it entertaining - but if you're just getting here for the first time, don't friend me, you're reading the last entry.

I will still be blogging at Graydancer, and part of the BestSexBloggers. But that's where I'm going to focus - the narcissism that my LJ has turned into needs to be done with.

Thank you all for your comments, and I wish you all well.

(Except you, of course. You can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. But everybody else? Be well.)


current mood: nostalgic
Saturday, August 16th, 2008
12:19 am - Tweets for Today
  • 17:26 stuck in traffic an hour outside of St. Paul. Finally listening to all of 7th Son by @jchutchins . Dual coolness: good story & lessons i ... #
  • 17:48 @raquelita I'm reading Yes Sir as I deal with construction outside St. Paul. Keep pumpin' em out! #
  • 17:52 So much for time to relax before rehearsal. At this rate I'll walk in the door, drop my bags & start tyin'. #
  • 18:28 passing thru Hudson. Lotta memories. #
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Friday, August 15th, 2008
12:09 am - Tweets for Today
  • 10:41 Yay, just got recommended to the Apple Store by @nbjosh. Thanks, buddy! #
  • 17:37 Anyone know of a good online tutorial for a swiss-seat style suspension harness? for Rope bondage, not climbing? #
  • 17:58 Wow. It's a good day for job leads. Reeeeaaaallly good. #
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Thursday, August 14th, 2008
12:13 am - Tweets for Today
  • 08:03 breakfast is late. work will be late. Everything is going to be late. #
  • 13:10 Yesterday the topic seemed too focused. Today, it's too broad: "Good Chat Rooms." Sheesh! #
  • 13:20 pandora: the soundtrack of my home. #
  • 13:28 headhunter called today. Interview tomorrow. Time to brush up on my Flash skillz.Wish I spoke PHP; he really wants a programmer. #
  • 19:17 ARgh. Trying to re-install flash CS3 on my Mac. Can't find frakkin' serial number card! #
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Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
12:16 am - Tweets for Today
  • 07:35 Off to work again with the kid... #
  • 13:49 Taking daughter to take care of her community service obligations. Grf. Should be home, writing. #
  • 15:02 I have to write 650 words on emoticons. Smileys. Yeah, for IMs. This...will be a challenge. #
  • 15:08 @lqqkout yeah, I use Wikipedia for a lot of research on these kinds of topics. Taxonomy based on emotion, I think: angry, happy, flirty, ... #
  • 15:18 moved to porch. I'm procrastinating writing terribly. Need to find a writing discipline. #
  • 15:27 @kimidreams GAH! another thing on my to-do list. I'll whip something up for you tonight, ok? #
  • 17:10 Just put in my resume to a few different places, including the Apple Store. Not expecting any fireworks, but fun putting it out there. #
  • 17:19 @DDog no, not really - my vanilla resumé, believe it or not, is pretty damn good. I do actually do more than kink, you know. :P #
  • 17:20 @saschak I've not forgotten about you guys, either. Just need something soon to fill in the gaps. #
  • 17:25 @ddog In my experience, the people who would object to that on a resume are people you wouldn't want to work with anyway, and anything t ... #
  • 17:52 review of the Wicked Stick posted to BSB (NSFW pictures): #
  • 17:53 @saschak Be sure, when your work is safe, to read the review. #
  • 18:43 enough work. Watching the Court Jester with daughter over dinner. Burlesque rehearsal later tonight... #
  • 22:51 New Ropecast up: Mia On Top and More!: #
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Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
2:37 pm - Quote of the day: on Reverence
"...I keep trying to gently to bring my mind back to what is really there to be seen, maybe to be seen and noted with a kind of reverence...Let's think of reverence as awe, as presence in and openness to the world. The alternative is that we stultify, we shut down. Think of those times when you've read prose or poetry that is presented in such a way that you have a fleeting sense of being startled by beauty or insight, by a glimpse into someone's soul. All of a sudden everything seems to fit together or at least to have some meaning for a moment. This is our goal as writers, I think; to help others have this sense of - please forgive me - wonder, of seeing things anew, things that can catch us off guard, that break in on our small, bordered worlds. When this happens, everything feels more spacious."

--Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
12:22 am - Tweets for Today
  • 14:34 Grrr. Daughter's a**hole boyfriend is over. Me not happy. #
  • 16:04 blugh. Momentum is gone. Feel like I'm moving through sludge. Must...keep...writing... #
  • 16:07 john digweed/pandora...this may keep me going. #
  • 16:22 @funkybrownchick damn. That IS a fine smile. love the off-the-shoulder look, too. #
  • 16:39 Hey, fellow parents and lovers of freedom of sexual expression: win a Lochai print and do a good deed: #
  • 16:59 @casizemore Thanks a lot, friend - I can't contribute myself, but I wanted to spread the word. @catalinaloves is good people. #
  • 19:35 @ellie_lumpesse Not just you. 2 lovers who are an executive & a harvard alum get me hot just thinkn' about how much smarter they are tha ... #
  • 23:08 @catalinaloves I didn't realize you were adding prizes. Throw in an audio book version of my novel "nawashi" #
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Monday, August 11th, 2008
4:41 pm - Catalina Loves Her Daughter, so you should win a Lochai Print
As a parent and also a sex educator, I have a soft spot for parents doing alternative things while also raising their kids. And while I've never met her, I've enjoyed and admired the work of Catalina, a sex blogger and Mom who has run smack into some really rotten prejudices and double dealing.

Here's the link for the full story: Catalina Loves Her Daughter. What is comes down to is that it's not enough for the school to punish her for what they consider to be distasteful behavior - they are also taking it out on her daughter, which from a Christian school seems really reprehensible in that Damn-I-Hate-Hypocrites kind of way. So keep in mind if you donate to the raffle (she's raffling off museum prints from lochai's WEAM exhibit) you are not giving the money to Catalina - you are actually giving it to her daughter, and proving that a community of pervs cares more about her education than an administration full of assholes.

WWJD, indeed. My bet is he'd buy a buttload of raffle tickets, and then make sure that he won all the prints...and then multiply them, of course, so there's enough for everyone, just like in the parable of the loaves & bitches. Right, negozio_b?

current mood: angry
1:56 pm - I swear, I thought I was writing fiction...
Then I find out that Mormons and sexual slavery have been an issue for decades:,8599,1830818,00.html (work-safe, and ladyfox, you gotta read this).

Spent the morning putting up siding again, this time along with my Eldest Twin daughter. She's quite the lazy worker, but competent - and give me lazy and competent over industrious and hapless any day. I love that she knows already how to handle a nail gun, and was only mildly intimidated by the saws. Mainly, it's just good to hang out with her more.

Now it's back home and writing and such. I am, by the way, somewhat on the job search - I've got many irons in the fire, and it's remaining to be seen which ones will bear the most fruit (or how much fruit the combined bunch will gain me) but meanwhile I'm not putting all of my camels under one bushel ( this badly mangled metaphor brought to you courtesy of Doms Who Love Tormenting Linguophiles Who Read Their Blog (not the least with made-up words like "linguophile.")).

Meanwhile, Thursday night is a big night on a few fronts: one, it's a Foxy Veronica's Peach Pies night at the Inferno, two, it's my debut as the new MC of the group, and three, it is the one-year anniversary of the night I hooked up with the hottest peach pie there is - Ms. Behavin', aka raging_journey. I first laid eyes on her on my birthday, but it took months of her pursuing me me pursuing her us stumbling around each other to finally get to the point where...well, this pic really says it all:

And that was just in Stoughton. Since then it's been a long and wildly fun ride, and I have to say she has, hell, I call myself a writer and yet I'm totally running out of superlatives that don't just sound cheesy.

Suffice it to say that when I'm with her, I feel like I never have before. She is a balm and a joy and a wonder.

So come out to Inferno and help us celebrate one year together.

current mood: accomplished
12:15 am - Tweets for Today
  • 10:21 Yoga. Then breakfast. Then writing. Then $$. Wait, what's this about a day of rest? Huh? #
  • 10:50 @sabrinafox NO witch burnings! Who are you performing with? #
  • 11:58 I'm offering Basic Suspension Technique classes in Minneapolis next saturday. #
  • 12:25 If you're in the MinnieApple and you want to learn to fly, saturday's the day: #
  • 12:26 @ellie_lumpesse explanation of what? #
  • 12:44 Posted an erotica short to : #
  • 13:07 @waterdusk I sent you the class description, as well as to the rope groups. Already got one nibble. Feel free to take rsvps. #
  • 13:08 Updated my "classes offered" list to revise "Hot & Kinky: Lessons Learned on the Perv Road" & "TwoPlay: the Art of Making Out tin ... #
  • 19:36 @SabrinaFox Um, want to check that URL? doesn't lead to anything #
  • 19:50 @sabrinafox No, no shit - but good to know you like bugs so much. Seeing as we're going into the woods & all... #
  • 20:25 I should clean my house. But I want to watch another episode of the Wire. Ah, addition... #
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Sunday, August 10th, 2008
12:15 am - Tweets for Today
  • 09:22 Sent off a resumé to another promising lead. #
  • 09:29 Guess I should make some breakfast before I forget again. Then writing, then the Wire. Thank you, Torrent, for the rest of Season 1... #
  • 10:08 Yoga, THEN breakfast Much better. Need to be in tiptopshape for Spank. #
  • 11:48 @mocheeks I would like to see that study. Interesting ideas. Inspiration or just good user design? #
  • 12:03 ugh. yellow text on a light pink background. NOT what I needed to read. #
  • 12:05 My own effort at self-change: quit offering options. Make decisions instead. #
  • 12:14 Grf. I've done the research (minimal) Why is it so hard to put something on paper? #
  • 12:18 writing out on my porch. Beautiful day. #
  • 12:36 @nikkinefarious Recreational or as part of a photo shoot? #
  • 12:40 @saschak Oh, you lucky bitch. You're going to love it. #
  • 12:43 taking a moment to read @raquelita's article about Ironside. You GO, girl! #
  • 13:39 OH! Satyricon is on FIRE PLAY! I need to go. Glad I checked... #
  • 14:32 Lunch is sauteed tilapia, sharp cheddar, whole grain bread with butter. #
  • 17:45 @ellie_lumpesse that's really fantastic. I wish I thought mine would react so well. Maybe if I get a PhD? #
  • 18:32 Off to RHP the musical. And I look FABULOUS! Pics to come... #
  • 18:39 @catalinaloves stuffin' things is one of my fave pastimes. #
  • 21:45 off to play. My hands need rope & flesh under them... #
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Friday, August 8th, 2008
11:45 am - RHP the Musical, anyone?
Saturday night I'm going to see the Middleton Players Theatre production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show (the Musical). My twins are on the crew, and my ex-husband-in-law is the lighting designer.

Though not a virgin, I've only actually gone to see it once, long ago, so I'm going to have very little clue of what to do...and that happens to be "audience participation night." If anyone who knows what they're doing is thinking of going, let me know so I can sit by you, ok?

The Rocky Horror Show

By Richard O'Brien

Directed by J.Patrick

Middleton Player's Theatre presents Richard O'Brien's THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW---the musical cult thriller that will not die! Join Dr. Frank-N-Furter and "staff" as they attempt to make the perfect man while playing games with unsuspecting visitors Janet and Brad.It's a "Time Warped", twisted salute to sci-fi, horror, B-movies and rock music that begs you to "come up to the lab and see what's on the slab"! Be a part of this addictive timeless rock musical where the audience has as much fun as the cast!

Saturday performances audience participation and costumes are encouraged!

(This production is not recommended for children 12 and under)

Produced by Middleton Players Theatre at Middleton Performing Arts Center

Performances: August 7-16, 2008

Performance Times: 7:30 P.M. all shows August 7,8,9 and 14,15,16

Ticket Prices: $15 in advance, $18 @ the door

Call 608-831-2521 for reservations or more information, or go to

In late September Eldest Twin and I will be in a musical called "Ballots", the story of the 2000 election told through the metaphor of a 1980's high school musical. I play Principal Warshock, and Eldest Twin plays a cheerleader.

raging_journey is directing. I spent so much time in the 80's trying NOT to dance like Kevin Bacon...and guess what we did in auditions? That's right, Footloose...


12:17 am - Tweets for Today
  • 09:12 @soulhuntre I recommend Libsyn. Been good to me and others for years. #
  • 09:17 @soulhuntre I've also heard nightmare stories about podcasts gone viral & overage fees in the $Ks. #
  • 09:18 Bread: cast. Now, to see what the waters hold... #
  • 09:26 @rudy Thanks for that link. That is a nice goal to have. #
  • 09:28 I need feedback. A dance site offers a class called "Expectant Belly". What does that mean to you? #
  • 09:31 @ellie_lumpesse That's cheating! I'm trying to figure out if my client needs a better name than that. I think she does. #
  • 10:18 Hurrah! We have a storage locker! #
  • 10:23 Ok. Done with site eval. Time to stretch the legs, move stuff downstairs, and then have online mtg with client. #
  • 10:29 @ddog Ah, Scrivener...I came so close to loving that product. #
  • 11:03 @catalinaloves She is? Wow, that'll make tying her up that much more fun. Who knew? #
  • 11:09 @agahran Yeah! Way to take it old-school. #
  • 11:18 @sabrinafox Whups, was that out loud? Damn internal monologue... #
  • 11:19 @agahran I think I've got you beat, though, as my preferred medium is the spoken word. Homer is my man! #
  • 11:21 @sabrinafox btw, you have me inspired with your talk of fire. Wait til I tell you what I have in mind for Spankfestival... #
  • 11:22 wow. The client is saying things like "these are good ideas. You have free reign." Wonder if this will come back to bite me in the ass? #
  • 11:30 @sabrinafox Ha! You forget, I play with a lot of redheads: #
  • 12:06 @catalinaloves I think I need a bsb email, cuz I wanna use the goodocs. #
  • 12:06 @sabrinafox OK, there's my wild idea. Now you get to say "WTF?" #
  • 12:23 @sabrinafox *chuckle* No, don't hold back, tell me how you REALLY feel. :) Glad to hear it. #
  • 12:43 @sfeley Duly noted. Sorry, brother. I'll keep my ears open. #
  • 12:46 @catalinaloves Working on one right now. #
  • 13:18 My first BSB post: #
  • 13:22 @catalinaloves Need to add "safer sex" category. #
  • 14:08 oK, enough of the fun stuff. Time to write some money-making articles. #
  • 14:18 Spinning up some DJ Siberia and ducking offline for some writing focus. Later, peeps. #
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Thursday, August 7th, 2008
9:08 pm - work and play
Just spent two hours on Skype with a hot bi babe talking about rope play and hot suspension...

That's right, lqqkout, nyxx_j, Sabrina Fox and I will be presenting a class on suspension - more of a workshop, really - at the upcoming Spankfestival. I'm really happy with the outline we came up with - it's solid info, well-researched and tested either by us or by our mentors. Even better is the little bits of shiny we'll get to insert, the parts of a presentation I love, when we get to not only teach but entertain.

Sneak preview: we have a section on scene etiquette for suspensions in public spaces...

...and we're doing it Goofus & Gallant style.

This is gonna rock.

current mood: accomplished
9:52 am - Discretion is a Burden
...which has been lifted.

Just in terms of general announcements: the "difficult conversation" last night was with savage13lossom. She and I decided to break up. There were several factors involved, none of which I really feel like sharing in a public forum, but I will say that the conversation we had was remarkable in its calm, rational discussion, and the caring nature that was shown on both sides. Nothing hurtful or malicious was said, no words to regret later, and I continue to value her friendship and presence in my life. There is no blame.

I hope that as she continues her journey towards the life she wants, I can be nearly that much of a positive force.

current mood: peaceful
12:17 am - Tweets for Today
  • 09:24 listening to @mistressmatisse & @twistedmonk. Damn, miss that guy. #
  • 10:11 Now trying out "packing heat" podcast about erotica writing. #
  • 11:16 wow. Odyssey workshop podcast is pure gold. #
  • 11:24 shifting gears: Power in Practice 1-3, Dominance & Doubt. Intellectual sadsim. #
  • 15:59 (waves at @sabrinafox) Stalker! #
  • 16:12 Trying to free up spaceon my drive so that I can edit the ART of Rita. Tying sounds are NOT interesting. Moans and slaps ARE. #
  • 16:30 Heh. "I've heard about Nullmoniker..." says @kinkmogul... #
  • 16:34 @kinkmogul has a really good whimper-to-flog ratio on this podcast. #
  • 16:53 Editing is a pain, but at least I get to edit out all the parts where I'm tripping over the rope and such. #
  • 16:59 @lqqkout I got yer edit right here, KimonoBoy #
  • 17:21 "It's a Kangaroo flogger? That must mean you have to jump up and down when you use it!" #
  • 17:37 Orgasm Wave form: #
  • 17:45 Off to get a haircut. #
  • 17:47 @lqqkout Now, if we could just teach you not to drive like an Iowan... #
  • 17:52 @saschak don't forget she's also my proxy! #
  • 18:23 @lqqkout Oh, that's what caused the fire? #
  • 18:28 damn. Missed my chance to get my first Ink. Have to save a little longer. #
  • 18:33 Hair chopped. Time for a difficult conversation. #
  • 21:48 Art of Rita edited. Mixing down to iTunes...should be live by 10pm CST. #
  • 22:19 The ART of Rita is live (NWS): #
  • 22:25 @chg2winter the ART of Rita is something you'd enjoy: #
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Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
10:47 pm - Quality People
Tonight I had what could have been a horrible awful conversation with a wonderful person, and we parted much more amicably than I ever expected.

I also finally posted The ART of Rita, a project that was pleasurable, lucrative, and immensely successful. And I get to share it.

I am blessed to know remarkable people.
12:15 am - Tweets for Today
  • 08:13 @medusasquirrel. Great, Now I have the song in my head: "Fun-Key Squir-rel...squirrel's gotthefunk!" #
  • 08:22 Goot rid of LoudTwitter. My LJ was becoming nothing but. #
  • 10:16 @viviane212 You'll have to also be my spanker-by-proxy. Use a paddle; it will save your hands. #
  • 10:34 Help families with Autistic children & get pics of the best cabaret group in Madison: #
  • 10:34 Here's a clickable link: Click on the photos to see Graydancer Dancing! #
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